Before I was able to come home I needed to have my I.N.R levels up. This is checking how thin my blood is by the blood thinners, Coumadin, Lovenox and Heparin. The doctors wanted my blood reading to be between 2.0-3.0 This is called being therapeutic. I wasn’t reaching the goal. I couldn’t break 1.4 which meant I couldn’t go home. I was devastated. It was a waiting game. I couldn’t eat either. My stomach was a complete knot. Plus, I didn’t know what I could or couldn’t eat so I resorted to a couple bites of hospital oatmeal and water. Then another blood draw….1.6 I could go home. Not as high as they wanted me but I could go home and that was all that mattered.
I called Kent to pick me up. Samantha was still with me and she helped me pack and carry my things down to the lobby to wait for Kent. While waiting in the lobby there was a young girl sitting across from me and she seemed to be autistic. She had an IV in her arm, scars’ on her body, and her teeth were messed up. Then she asked me, why was I there? Her dad looked at her with one eye brow raised and told her not to be rude! I said, “it’s ok and I’m here because I have blood clots in my lungs”…..that was the first time I said it to a stranger and I heard myself say it and thought oh my gosh I have blood clots in my lungs! Then this young lady said she is going to the dentist to get her braces removed and she hopes that she will be able to sing again. Her voice was a little slurred and her words were drawn out. She clearly was not talking that way because of the braces. But, she was convinced once her braces were to be removed her singing voice would be restored. She proceeded to tell me she wanted to try out for American Idol “again” I just shook my head thinking this is really sweet and extremely sad all at the same time. Then she said, she wanted to get ANOTHER golden ticket. She explained that she tried out last season and waited in the long lines and made it thru to the judges and received a golden ticket to go to “Hollywood!” I kept nodding, listening in disbelief. Then I looked at her dad, tears were puddling in his eyes and he looked at me and shook his head yes and said it’s true. This young lady 1 week before Hollywood week was in a bad car accident and hit a huge tree head on. She was extremely fortunate to be alive. She once was a young lady that had her “once in a life time” ticket clutched in her hands then just like that in a quick blink of an eye her life is reverted back to being in the mind of a 5 year old. Her ticket..her golden dream….gone. This young lady could have possible been the “Next American Idol” and all she was excited about that day was getting her braces removed. Her excitement was as huge as if she just got that ticket all over again.
It brought tears to my eyes. She could’ve stood there in the hospital lobby and belted out the most beautiful sound from her slurred and stuttering voice and everyone there watching would’ve declared her a winner. I can only imagine her voice now sounds more precious to her dad then the first time he heard her sing without any flaw. Then she left, and I was left there sitting and being reminded how precious and fragile life is once again. But, most importantly how we plan our own destiny and how quickly God can put the brakes on our plan so fast and turn us down another direction. His direction, His path. Fighting this realization as a Christian sometimes makes it so much worse. We need to just “let go” and “let God.”
God knows us personally, has a plan for us, and allows us to find hope in Him.
Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Lord, I’m so glad that no accident, blood clots, or sin can ever removed the Golden Ticket you have given me as being my Savior. Nothing can removed You from me. Nothing.
I was home. Kent had to go back to work. I reassured him it was ok to leave and I’d be ok. But, really I was screaming inside, don’t leave me! I just felt so guilty he was missing work so much. I was by myself for the first time in 6 days. It was quiet. I stood there in my living room weak, looking at the clock thinking Max will be home in 1 hour. I can’t wait to be standing here at the end of the driveway waiting for him. I wanted Rudy home, I wanted to hear him say, “Mommmmmyyyy!” But, I was alone. I turned on the tv to break the silence. It didn’t help, so I went outside there was a slight breeze, I remember thinking I just want to sit down and close my eyes and let the sunshine soak in. But, I was paranoid to sit. You should stay moving to prevent blood clots…..are my socks too tight….how long was I in the car sitting….what time is it, do I need my Coumadin? Does that have vitamin K in? STOP! STOP! STOP! Settle down! Everything is ok…I felt this calmness pour over me. The quiet became peaceful instead of frightening. And the Son was pouring in.
Becky was still in Japan already packed and ready to come home. Derek was in main land Japan when Becky had given me the phone call about coughing up blood. I told her I will keep my phone and FaceTime on the whole time to stay with her. She was very nervous and now concerned she would not be able to come home. If there was ever a time she needed to be home it was now! She had another military wife take her in. Becky explain to the doctor how she has been feeling and what she coughed up. The doc said she wanted to rule out any possible chance of there being pulmonary embolisms. Becky was in disbelief. I was in disbelief. She called me up saying, “Tahny what do I?” “What if that’s what they find?!” I told her they probably won’t find PE’s but, it’s better just to get it checked so it can be ruled out. I stayed with her all night on FaceTime we were typing and talking back and forth through every step, her IV’s, even up to the time she was being rolled in for her CT scan. She would send me pictures so I felt as if I were actually there.
I was waiting for her to type back her results. I was praying that she didn’t have to go through this too. My next writing from Becky was; “I’m on Coumadin for six months” I read those words in disbelief. “Tahny, they said I’m pretty lucky to have such an obvious sign as coughing up blood, what is going on!?” There’s no luck about it. God just sometimes makes things more clear to us then other times. I just don’t understand why her too Lord? The doctor was explaining things to Becky about her new diet she is going to have, what Lovenox shots are and how to do them to herself. But, Becky would talk to her doctor as if she understood all these things way too clearly. Becky let her doctor know that her older sister is going through this exact same thing right now. The doctor looked at Becky and was in shock. Becky explain to her that we weren’t twins but we mirrored each others symptoms. The next thing I know is the doctor is now asking me what dosage of Lovenox and Coumadin I’m on so they can give Becky the same. Becky’s only question was can I fly home? Needless to say they told her “NO!” The same tears of extreme sadness were being shed from across the world at the same time. I just didn’t understand.
Becky’s blood levels got in range, and with a lot of hesitation from the doctors they allowed Becky to come home. My other sister Staci and I were waiting for Becky in the luggage pick up at Detroit Metro. We haven’t seen each other in a year. But longing to be reunited with her since this has happened between us both was different then just a normal reuniting. It felt like I was waiting for my other leg or arm to be rejoined with my body. Then there she was coming down the escalator, I just looked at her for a moment before I started yelling her name, she didn’t look like a 30 year old lady to me, she was my baby sister that I always had to make a sandwich when we were younger. We weren’t even hugging yet but tears were welling in my eyes. Staci and I starting jumping up and down, “Becky! Becky!” Ahhhhhhh the embrace of relief. She was home.
We went to our doctor appointments together, blood draws together, and the genetic testing together. Both of our blood clots are called “Provoked” Becky’s were from oral contraceptives and mine were from my back surgery. So that means an automatic six months of Coumadin for us both. Then we get another CT scan done and see if the clots are gone. Times goes by so quickly, even in the world of Coumadin. After the first couple weeks of adjusting to the medicine, needles, and hundreds of finger pokes you think that time is standing still and six months could never get here fast enough. Then it’s here, well for Becky it is. She gets her CT scan done on her Birthday November 14th at 8:30am. So, please say a prayer for my baby sister today. She is nervous and can’t sleep, laying awake in bed on the other side of the earth from me right now. But, I feel the same nerves that are keeping her awake tonight. Even though my scan isn’t until December I still feel as if I’m getting the test done tomorrow too.
Becky we will be together again soon. Eating desserts, going for a jog, or running a marathon. But, even though we are miles apart the same butterflies that are fluttering in your belly tonight are in mine too today. I love you more then words could ever express. My hand is high in the sky and I’m shouting to you across the world, “PARTNERRRRSS!”
Becky and I after we finished Chicago Marathon
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